Realgm Profiles

#1 Seed
Poster Name: Chach
General Comparison: The Slick Rick the Story Teller of Masturbation
Why Chach is Worthy of Your Vote: All chach OT posts are generally lengthy, well thought out tales of sexual deviance. He's New Englands answer to the Sex Talk Lady and frequently teaches n00bs and regulars alike about the joy and beauty of masturbation. Of late, Chach has spent less time on realgm and more time with his slew of a girlfriend that is using t3h sex to keep him off our board.
Notable Post of Late:
Vintage Chach:

#2 Seed
Poster Name: Derek57
General Comparison: A more depressed version of the Pre-Courage Lion in Wizard of Oz
Why Derek is Worthy of Your Vote: Derek's personality ranges from the meditating smiley to the dancing xanax pill of Canada. Not only does he participate in every religious, political, and serious post on the board, but he also isn't afraid to quote himself multiple times or reply to himself upwards of 4 times in a row. Typically, Derek shows up late in most threads, but what he lacks in timing he makes up for in pure rage with zingers such as, "are there anymore wrestlingfann00bs I can e-beat down?? If you guys didnt tie up daone and only and leave him for me Ima be super pissed!"
Typical Derek of Late:
Derek in a Nutshell:

#3 Seed
Poster Name: TyroneHillisthenextMJ
General Comparison: Pauly Shore (golden years of the Shore, mind you)
Why THITNMJ is Worthy of Your Vote:
(note, pre's from the 1st one, someone else edit/add) The original wiseass of the boards, thitnmj is a true veteran of realgm. He's also a very smart boy, and is the only member I know of who also has his father posting on realgm. thitnmj almost became a mod for the Sixers board recently, but the return of AI ruined his chances.
He still hasn't responded to my request to change his name to Amal McCaskill is the Next MJ.
Typical TITs of late:

#4 Seed
Poster Name: McGees
General Comparison: Reggie Lewis (consistency that you don't notice)
Why McGees is Worthy of Your Vote: He is Mr. Loyalty whether he is backing a turnover prone pf that can't shoot or the republican party off, McGees will always be providing his support. On the OT board, he's mostly found in political threads and on the C's board you will find his list of 15 2nd rounders that will be nba rotation guys for years to come. Nonetheless, McGees still finds time to make cameos in your typical OT Board threads. (Also of note, McGees is an avid fan of Bruce Lee which is clearly reflected in his posting style)
Typical McGees of Late:
Vintage McGees Stlye Comedy:

#5 Seed
Poster Name: Harry Palmer
General Comparison: Alec Baldwin (think Team America)
Why Harry Palmer is Worthy of Your Vote: Harry is currently known for being realgm's only male model, for living in a house full of hotties, and for having them consider him to be an intelligent guy. Did I mention this fantasy world exists in Canada? Harry's sassy posts found on the OT board are all over the place with a visible focus on politics/religion.
Typical Harry of Late:

#6 Seed
Poster Name: kg_Chick21
General Comparison: Every generalization about a teenaged girl... ever.
Why kgChick is Worthy of Your Vote: kgChick is a self described female that has a plethora of boy issues and racial slurs which she openly discusses with the OT board and her vast array of horses and sports cars which she goes 'halfsies' with her parents. She/He/It easily has the greatest Post:Views and Post:Reply ratio in the history of Internet Forums.
Typical kgChick of Late:
Vintage kgChick: Any post of her's, there is no discernible difference between any of them.

#7 Seed
Poster Name: PreemptingYou
General Comparison: A much darker, less funny version of American Dad
Why Preempt is Worthy of Your Vote: Preempt has apparently been to every single country were suffering has occured and has received first hand accounts that were pro-us even if the suffering/solution had nothing to do with the US. On rare occasions Preempt slides into a republican version of slick willy and talks about how foreign languages, being well cultured, and an possessing an iron fist got him tail with regularity. To this day, I've only seen him post in political threads. Preempt manages to maintain a high post count all the while avg. 5-6 paragraphs per post, with that, preempt always replies to often harsh verbal abuse with well thought out 500 word responses, Single spaced, mind you.
Preempt in a Nutshell:

#8 Seed
Poster Name: NOFX
General Comparison: Matt Stone
Why NOFX is Worthy of Your Vote: The firey glow of his confidence (openly sports pictures of himself in his avatar) is only matched by the color of his pubes. NOFX is a versatile poster just as capable of going off in a music/humor/76ers thread as the political one's he's most noted for. NOFX is definitely as anti-bush/republican machine as they come .
NOFX In a Nutshell:

#9 Seed
Poster Name: Terryoh
General Comparison: A College Years Screech but replace the affinity for Lisa Turtle with an unhealthy attraction to of-age asian girls that look U-18.
Why Terryoh is Worthy of Your Vote: Typical open-minded Italian/Canadian that is only beginning to show his flair for MS Paint and Google. He's a machine gun style poster that possesses the rarely seen canadian wit and is always willing to partake in discussion of the asian ladies. He is also self-proclaimed sepherical in appearance. (note - questioned dolph lundgren's sexuality/homeland, possible child pornographer.)
Typical Terryoh of Late:

#11 Seed
Poster Name: Michael Jackson
General Comparison: The Harnessed BadAssery of Mr. T in Internet Forum Format.
Why MJ is Worthy of Your Vote: Acting as a veteran presence withs 1000s of posts since 2001, MJ consistently provides a steady medium between seriousness and hilarity. (edit - I've really got nothing to say here, someone fill it in)
Typical MJ of Late:

#12 Seed
Poster Name: Ewizzle
General Comparison: Chewbacca
Why Ewizzle is Worthy of Your Vote: Ewizzle's most known for his mod status on the Rockets board and he uses that title to defend Hakeem to the fullest extent possible. One rumor surfaced that Ewizzle once banned a n00b for suggesting that Mr. Olijawan used Generic shampoo over Pert Plus or Herbal Essence. Ewizzle can also be found on the OT board searching for the answer to the age old question, which sport would provide for the kinkiest themed porno? (note - I refuse to look up the proper spelling of Hakeems last name)
Typical Ewizzle of Late:

#13 Seed
Poster Name: Simulack
General Comparison: Martha Stewart
Why Simulack is Worthy of Your Vote:
Simulack is a 37 year old married man not afraid to post images of his own ejaculate ( He is an asset to the OT board due to the apparent evilness found in all of his cunning replies to the new wave of posters. He also possesses an outstanding 6 posts per Image ratio on the OT board. Definite Dark Horse potential at the 12 seed.
Typical Simulack of Late:

#14 Seed
Poster Name: PhilipNelsonFan
General Comparison: The Bicycle that ET flew in
Why PhilipNelsonFan is Worthy of Your Vote: PNP had his coming out party on the OT board as he attempted to salvage the Realgm Draft Thread. He boosts his popularity by fueling our collective pedophilia by hosting images of high school girls in his avatar. He also appears to be following in MingKong's footsteps as he attempts to write some-sort of novel, presumably about drafting highschool women. Currently, PNP can be found discussing why MTV sucks with other OT teenie boppers.

#15 Seed
Poster Name: DrugBust
General Comparison: Mr. Myiagi bonsai tree
Four Years and 7000+ posts later, DrugBust still has his stroke down. DrugBust frequents the Bucks board above all else, but still makes token appearances on the OT board from time to time. Also, his comment regarding his SN, "I go to Stout. Should be self-explanatory." was described as hilarity on the Bucks board; he has that going for him. (feel free to add/edit, I really have no idea who this is)
Typical DrugBust of Late:

#16 Seed PLAY-IN
Poster Name: UNC Tar Heel Fan
Poster Name: Fleetwood macbull