Rockstars or Child Molestors



While browsing the world of online shopping for classic vinyls, I ran across these outstanding Album covers which confirmed for me the fact that anyone that has put out an album is both my hero and clearly a pervert.

note - my definition of hero is that if you see this cat walking down the street, store, or bar and you are in awe of their badassery and you would want to shake their hand, they qualify as a hero. (*if black, proceed to do complicated thug luv hug.)

on with the Album covers:



Well, the one on the far left is wearing blush, the one on the far right has the same disease as 'Jack' except he still has his lovable baby face, and the one 4th from the left is straight up Che Guevara with the way he refuses to wear a man scarf, but the most remarkable thing about this album cover is the fact that Harry Holm felt the need to write his name on the cover with permenant marker.

Child Molestor Scale = 7.2



I've stared at the guy on the far lefts face for about 7 minutes. With that, I have three main opinions about him:

1) He is one of the lizard/reptile aliens that David Icke talks about that secretly controls our government.

2) My nana would have sex with him because he looks "honest"

3) He always handed my friends and I suckers as we walked home from school.

The middle guy has one awesome comb-over, and his forehead is simply an outstanding shape.

Child Molestor Scale = 5.4



A band of fattys, and the look on the guy in the upper right corner says: "I know you think I'm fat" but his eyebrows say "you know you love a man in yellow and blue sequence"

Child Molestor Scale = 3.1



Once again, the wierdest looking bastahd sits in the middle. I love this guy, you know he totally bought the glasses to distract you from the fact that he has no chest hair.

note - I feel bad for making that comment realizing in all likelyhood all of his chest hair was shaved due to open heart surgery. RIP big man, RIP.

Child Molestor Scale = 8.1



And the creepiness, transexuality rating was just shattered with the combination of faces and outfits. wow. The one in the upper-right with the odd red facial hair clearly has his hands on the ass of the man in the middle whose odds of knowing elvish are 3-1.

Child Molestor Scale = 9.8



^^^ toughest gang shit ever. The Ingel IndQviSts. Don't fuck with them or they will force you to wear flannel shirts that will slightly irritate your skin. (side note - wtf happened to flannel shirts, I never have worn them, but always see them at cheap ass mall stores, every tv sitcom ever, and hear about them, but I just don't see them. I blame the Ingel IndQviSts for capping any bitches who dare to wear flannel.)

Child Molestor Scale = 2.9



The eyebrows on the guy at the left just make me giddy. The red head has the appropriate devil style goat and the fatty on the far right is the white Hideki Irabu. None of them are capable of looking in the same direction due to either down syndrome or fetal alcohol syndrome rendering them incapable of molestation.

Child Molestor Scale = 0.7
Creepy Eyebrow Factor = 9.8



If anyone watches Premium Blend, the guy on the bottom became an unfunny transvestite that jokes about getting groped in Asia, but more importantly, why are they all so damn smiley, silk doesn't feel that good...

Child Molestor Scale = 5.6



Our first sighting of a chick corresponds with our first sighting of a black man, coincidence, the man boobs above the black man think not.

Child Molestor Scale = 3.2
Young White Girls Throwing Themselves at Blackman Factor = 9.1

776 Bands decided to wear sequenced silk outfits for their album covers after reading this.
Have you ever been molested by a man/woman/elf in silk?

Back to a site that loves the finer things in life, like the rugged man scarf...