Dane Cook explains the SU-FI



If you're doing the old fashioned finger you're a spaz. The finger is for lightweights. Here is what I started a while ago.

"What the hell is the SU-FI or SUPERFINGER (see image on top of the page... idiot.) on your website Dane?" People always ask. "Where did it come from?"

WHAT IS THE SU-FI ?

One night I did a bit on stage about 5 years ago at the Laugh Factory. I was talking about how the finger is lame now and it's lost its pizzazz.I said I wanted to upgrade the finger and so from now on people should use both the ring finger coupled with the middle finger. I called it the SUPERFINGER (or the SU-FI if you're a bad ass M F).

I said the old (classic) finger says "screw you dumb person."

The SUPERFINGER screams one of two things depending on how you use it.

In "PISSED OFF MODE" it means:

"FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING NOTHING PUDDLE OF FUCKDEW. YOU DRIPPING STICKY BLEACH SMELLING MASS OF EXTREME UBER-MENTAL RETARDATION. SOUR JIZZ FUCKASSFACE. EAT MY FUCK WITH AN EXTRA SIDE OF FUCK FRIES. YOU FUCKHOLE." It was close to that. I am paraphrasing.

Or, in "FEEL THE LOVE" mode it mean:

"I realize you are feeling my truth and my dedication. You're saying THANKS FOR JUST BRINGING IT HONEST and I return that vibe with the SU-FI. You can't fuck with the truth and I appreciate that you would indicate that to me with a flash of the SU-FI. Respect and accomplisment I wish for you."

That's the story of the SU-FI. Now here is my own SU-FI tale.

Some time ago I was driving down Sunset Blvd in Hollywood. To be honest I was driving way too fast because I was blasting Van Halen's "Panama" and it was a fucking beautiful afternoon. This guy in a 1983 Ford Recall comes out of a side street without stopping. He sees me bombing straight at him and jams on his breaks. I do too and my car skids to a stop one inch from his shitbox. He yells "Slow down!" I threw him a SUPERFINGER and just held it as I turned to blast by him. HE THREW THE SUPERFINGER BACK AT ME AND LAUGHED! It was really cool. I have given people the SU-FI before but never had anyone give it back. Whoever you were, shit head driver, it was great to SU-FI with you and take the old fashion "fuck you" to a whole new level!!!!! All is forgiven now.

- Dane Cook

1764 readers will start throwing the SU-FI left and right after picking up Dane Cook's new dvd. Do you jack off to Dane Cook's comic stylings too?

Back to the first page not designed by an asian