In a psychiatric ward, a group of mental patients and a staff's routine is disrupted by the arrival of the boisterous new patient Yu Law(played by jet li). Yu, who challenges the drudgery of the day-to-day status quo by punching the interns through walls and belting the chief matron over the head with a pair of enamel bathtubs, apparently possesses superhuman powers due in large part to the collective unspoken urging of his fellow patients to be free of their oppressive lot in life... Yu is finally defeated by a combination of shock therapy and wing chung-style native american pillow-fighting. After finally defeating his former friend and current nemesis, the hero of the peace throws a radiator through a window, hence opening a portal back to his tangent universe and running free.
First Wives Fight Club
The former wives of various influential persons form an underground movement for washed-out women in their forties in which they beat each other senseless in a basement. Eventually it is revealed that the main character (played by Martha Stewart) actually has multiple personalities and has just been punching herself in the face for the last 45 minutes. note - Chastity Bono from Celebrity Fit Club provides MeatLoaf's role in this one.
Enjoy the Silence of the Lambs
Uber-goth anti-hero Jame Gumb survives, and heads for the the LA goth scene with his new coat. He is tragically beaten to death by German Industrial musicians.
Fear and Loathing in the Bridges of Madison County
Photographer discovers love with a wheelchair bound 20ft octopus but only after discovering amyl nitrate, mescalin and other assorted pharmaceuticals...
The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Cat In The Hat
A gripping series of odd case histories by a noted brain disorder researcher. What makes this movie so compelling is the method of it's telling. The stories, though quite serious, are recounted in amusing rhyming couplets. This is a risky technique, as it borders on the nonsensical at times.
The title story is of a man who constantly imagines that his spouse is a feline archetype which first destroys, and than rebuilds their happy home. Fraught with Freudian themes, the man worries constantly that his Mother will come home and catch him being bad. First rate.
Lord of the Fly
Horror ensues when a group of schoolchildren, stranded on an island, invent a bad Irish dance style. They get rescued, then go on to make millions.
Angela's Ashes at Fahrenheit 451
A boy and his brothers grow up in a desperately poor Irish family. One night, they're so cold that after a wooden wall doesn't provide enough warmth, they take their mother and set fire to her.
Great Big Expectations
Pip wishes he was big, and it comes true! And Mrs. Favesham likes what she sees...
Diary of an American Psycho
A big-money Wall Street exec feels he is going crazy and becoming homicidal, but in reality it is just that everyone around him is conspiring to eat him.
All Reservoir Dogs Go To Heaven
In this tense black comedy, an orphaned mutt returns from heaven to earth in order to do a good deed, but is waylaid and ends up taking part in an unsuccessfull jewel heist. Top flight acting combined with a kick ass 70's soundtrack and a total lack of flea collars or neutering makes this one a winner!
The Satanic Verses of Beowulf
Beowulf turns his back on his friends and joins Grendel in a slaughterfest, they then chase Salman Rushdie out of India.
A Portrait of the Equus as a Young Man
Stephen Dedalus whines a lot about not getting any. To assuage his amorous agony, Stephen's father buys him riding lessons. Parental guidance suggested.
A Time to Kill a Mockingbird
I shamelessly steal Harper Lee's classic, makes a few updates, and tries to pass it off as my own work. The public buys millions of copies, which just goes to show that anyone can sell anything to everyone.
Mel Gibson's drug dealer character falls in love with Scout, whom Kurt Russell's cop character also loves. A shocking foray into pedophilia in the Deep South.
It Takes Two Kill a Mockingbird
Scout is played by Mary Kate Olsen, while Ashley plays Tom Robinson. The two switch places to show the judge and the townspeople that Tom is not guilty of rape. A laugh track and an "awwww" track play almost constantly.
Of Mice and Men Are From Mars, Woman Are From Venus
A husband and wife argue over whether to kill the retard.
Bob Vila: Foundation
A remake of Asimov's classic Foundation trilogy, except they couldn't forsee one fatal flaw in their plans. How are they going to rebuild all those old houses on Trantor when they get back? Bob Vila comes in and shows them all how to spackle with the best of them.
Battlefield: The Good Earth
An earnest, hard-working Chinese farmer, the last of his kind, must contend with droughts, a rigid class system, an impending industrial revolution, and an evil invading alien race set on stealing his nutritional food.